It is clear to us that God not only loves you very much but also has put His hand on you for something special.
—I Thessalonians 1:4
The world of the generous gets larger and larger; the world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller. (Proverbs 11:24)
It’s days like these, I can’t believe I am present to witness. A day can be anything. And one that leaves a mark on you. It is something special. As much as I could wish every day could bring such a high. I wouldn’t, because it’d take away the awe when a day like this comes. Today is a day that left a mark on me. For so many reasons.
as happy as holidays are. as thankful as i am for this year and the immense blessing on me.
i still give in to my tears so easily today.
i miss this guy so much.
last thanksgiving was my last one with him.
in their house. my entire family around the table. which was a pool table with a wood board on top, and then tablecloth. there are way too many of us for a normal table.
as dinner was ending, i looked over to my papa. sitting in his recliner, off to the side. not quite at the table with us. he couldn’t eat at this point. he couldn’t talk.
when someone cant talk, you rely so much on their eyes.
i looked at his eyes and you could just see, he was happy. but there was a weight there.
did he know this would be his last thanksgiving with all his family? what was going thru his mind?
i felt so stupid he was sitting off to the side. no one was really even talking to him. it was hard sometimes, what do you say to someone who cant talk. i never wanted him to feel bad.
i cry so easily thinking about him. thinking this is my first holiday without him.
i wish i could hear him chomping his food at the table.
i wish i could hear him interrupting everyone to have the lead.
i wish i could hold his hand.
i miss him so much. i love my family dearly and although i am not with them today, he and they will be on my mind all day.
i’m so thankful for what i have, the breath in me, the opportunities. but it still doesn’t soften the sting of missing someone so.
holy lord. this is so wonderful.









